Explaining is not teaching, but it’s usually a tool that teachers rely on anyway. It comes in handy in some situations, like giving multi-step directions.

But what do you do when you can’t explain something because you don’t speak the same language? It’s one thing to tell a group of kids what’s expected of them in an obstacle course, but what about a mouse?

In that case, you rely on shaping. Essentially, you reward any steps in the direction (sometimes literally) of what you want the training subject to do, even if they bear little resemblance to the desired behavior.

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When I taught piano lessons, I worked with a little girl named Catherine. Honestly, I’ve worked with so many Catherines over the years that I’m not even going to bother to change her name for this story.

Catherine took to the piano easily. She was talented in the most basic and obvious way: on day one, it was as though she already a few months of experience based on her knowledge and execution. Not only could she play whatever I asked her to play, she did it with grace and ease.

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I’m building a new business, and I’m finding it hard to shake the feeling that I need to be moving faster.

In the past, when I’ve created a new offering, it was often accompanied by the desire for a quick return on investment. I wanted to launch a thing because I needed some money coming in.

But now, despite COVID, things are more stable. I’m creating something new because I want to, not because I’m desperate and digging myself out of a hole. And that means I can take my time. However, I still feel that underlying sense of urgency. And this urgency carries a cost.

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When I was a kid, I was just in awe of professional musicians. How do you get up on stage and play song after song and not mess up?

Well, I’m still in awe of professional musicians, but now I understand something fundamental: Most of the time, whatever they’re doing up there is as easy as driving around town or carrying on a conversation.

It takes a degree of effort and concentration, but it’s within the range of routine activities. They’re not pushing themselves so hard that they’re risking a train wreck in front of hundreds or thousands of people. They’re doing something that they can already reliably do.

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When faced with an overwhelming mess — I have one in my living room right now, the result of literally emptying the contents of a pickup truck, including a table saw, onto the floor — it is sometimes reasonable to take drastic measures. Let’s shove it all into a closet or call the junk people to haul it all away.

And when the mess is more of an intangible one — a broken process, a difficult relationship, a cluttered schedule — we likewise might seek ways to metaphorically shove it in a closet or send it to the dump.

But sometimes, the elements are too valuable to discard. We must salvage what we can. In these cases, we have to use a more deliberate process. At the very moment when we most want to rush and just be done with the whole thing, we have to slow down and be present. When we do, we might discover a much more satisfying experience and outcome.

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