I am lucky to know many excellent mamas who treat their very young children with respect and dignity, allowing them to make age-appropriate decisions as often as possible.

One such mama shared a story that we can all learn from as we strive to accomplish great things in life. Great things such as weaning and potty-training.

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I talk to so many people who express regret over not having learned to play a musical instrument.

However, this regret is not enough to lead them to learn one now. They feel as though it’s too late.

Well, sure, if you start learning piano today, you’re probably not going to catch up to Elton John. However, you may really enjoy learning how to play your first chords. Within weeks, you could be playing a version of “Rocket Man” that’s good enough to bring out at a family gathering.

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When people call my music school inquiring about lessons for adults, they often wonder in all sincerity if it’s even possible for them to learn. “I’m thirty-two. Is it too late for me to learn how to play the piano?”

Whenever I’m asked a question like this, I jokingly tell respond that they should’ve called a week earlier, and now it’s too late.

People get the “too late” idea from a misinterpretation of the research that shows that from the birth to age six, human beings have a much higher capacity for absorbing language and music. It’s during this time that children actually develop not only skill and knowledge in these areas, but the aptitude itself. In other words, they it’s not so much their ability but their potential ability that’s increasing. A child who has a lot of exposure to music during their formative years, then, will have increased potential in music as an adult.

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A friend of mine used to babysit for a six-year-old girl. Lacking a better plan, he plunked her in front of the TV.

Whenever a commercial for a toy would come on, she would say mournfully, “Wish I could have that…”

The tone of her voice went beyond a child’s eager materialism to a deeper, existential sorrow. The implication was, “I can never have that.” Simultaneously hilarious and tragic.

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Last Thursday, Good Morning America did a quick segment about Prince George’s activities. Host Lara Spencer, encouraged by a laughing audience and co-host, used a mocking tone when she mentioned that George is taking ballet classes. She implied that the child’s enthusiasm for dance will not last.

I watched the segment, which has been shared widely by appropriately outraged people, with a mix of revulsion and dismay. First of all, why are adults even talking about a child’s activities on national television? I understand that the British royal family is fascinating to many, but surely we can find things to discuss other than a six-year-old.

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I went swimming the other night. (Yes, I swim at night — being a pale creature, it is best for me to venture out after the sun disappears.) 

Anyway, the pool was unheated, which always presents a challenge for me. I’m fascinated by the tension of that moment when I can visualize myself swimming but haven’t actually jumped in yet. At any time, I could simply immerse myself in the water. It’s entirely up to me whether I am swimming or stalling.

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Talent is convenient.

It’s undeniably helpful to have early promise or natural aptitude in a particular area. We tend to enjoy things we’re good at. If you are naturally good at something, you will stick with it all the way to mastery.

However, the flip side concerns me more. If you are not naturally good at something that you really want to master, I urge you to stick with it anyway. Sooner or later, with consistent effort over time, some aspect of it will click. When you evaluate things several weeks, months, or years later, you may even find that your results are indistinguishable from the “talented” person.

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The human obsession with measurement is everywhere, and starts from our earliest moments. Our height and weight and Apgar scores are recorded when we are born. We are measured repeatedly throughout our childhoods, tracked for every developmental milestone and compared to others according to percentiles in every attribute.

A parent can become fearful about a child’s future if the child appears to be “behind” in some way. However, the truth is that we are all very different, and these measurements only go so far in helping us to identify potential problems caused by those differences.

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