Posts tagged 011122
Discomfort for the sake of discomfort

My brother, otherwise normal, runs ultramarathons.

The thing about ultramarathons is that they are so darn long that you better really enjoy running if you run one. It’s the quintessential experience of learning to enjoy the journey—or at least, to stay focused on the process instead of the outcome.

Even though ultra runners push themselves to finish, they'll never make it if they’re focused on the end of the race. They have to be focused on each step, each breath. Take enough steps and enough breaths, and you'll get to the finish line.

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The kids are gonna be alright

Did you hear? School is canceled. It’s happened in Virginia and Georgia…and soon, many other places will follow.

I’m hearing from many parents who are deeply concerned about the losses their children are experiencing, from the inability to play with their friends to the cancellation of high school graduation ceremonies. These are losses to be grieved and respected. But there is an additional layer of fear that parents have, which is that the emotional impact will cause long-term harm.

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Fun is overrated

Because I began my career as a music teacher, I’m sensitive to pressure from parents to make learning “fun.”

Learning an instrument (or anything) can be enjoyable, satisfying, and invigorating. It can also be frustrating, overwhelming, and exhausting, even when it’s going well and you love what you’re doing.

Yes, learning can be fun, too. But it isn’t inherently fun, and fun is not the goal.

To try to make things fun for kids all the time is sort of like feeding them sweet snacks constantly. It doesn’t allow them to develop a taste for anything else. And yet, even young children have a surprising capacity to appreciate other flavors.

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It's only too late if you want to be the best

When people call my music school inquiring about lessons for adults, they often wonder in all sincerity if it’s even possible for them to learn. “I’m thirty-two. Is it too late for me to learn how to play the piano?”

Whenever I’m asked a question like this, I jokingly tell respond that they should’ve called a week earlier, and now it’s too late.

People get the “too late” idea from a misinterpretation of the research that shows that from the birth to age six, human beings have a much higher capacity for absorbing language and music. It’s during this time that children actually develop not only skill and knowledge in these areas, but the aptitude itself. In other words, they it’s not so much their ability but their potential ability that’s increasing. A child who has a lot of exposure to music during their formative years, then, will have increased potential in music as an adult.

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No talent? Play anyway.

Talent is convenient.

It’s undeniably helpful to have early promise or natural aptitude in a particular area. We tend to enjoy things we’re good at. If you are naturally good at something, you will stick with it all the way to mastery.

However, the flip side concerns me more. If you are not naturally good at something that you really want to master, I urge you to stick with it anyway. Sooner or later, with consistent effort over time, some aspect of it will click. When you evaluate things several weeks, months, or years later, you may even find that your results are indistinguishable from the “talented” person.

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