I am having trouble concentrating.

And I’m tired even though I slept all night.

And I feel unmotivated to do my work even though I love it.

I’m reconsidering the decisions I’ve made and the plans I have. The flights I booked and the hugs and handshakes.

I’m thinking about illness and death. Looking at the numbers. Wondering about people’s choices. Feeling powerless.

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World War II lasted from 1939 to 1945. Six long years.

On the one hand, I don’t know how they possibly could have done it. And on the other, I now know: One day at a time.

Today, if all goes according to plan, I will get my first dose of the coronavirus vaccine. It’s coming approximately a year after what I would have preferred, but I made it. And then, there are things to do. There’s a new baby in the family to meet. I have so many people I want to hug. And I’d like to visit my school, where I haven’t set foot in months. Next week, it will have students for the first time since March 13, 2020. Could this really be the end?

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Exactly a year ago, I was experiencing one of the most exhausting and demoralizing days of my life.

The pandemic hadn’t hit my area yet, though it had begun to cast its shadow over our futures. I had yet to wear a mask in public or hear about an outbreak in any of the communities I was part of.

No, I was engaged in a more conventional type of misery: preparing to sell a home.

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A friend’s five-year-old has taken to calling the time of coronavirus “The Season.”

She doesn’t like The Season: No school, porch visits only, masks and physical distance. Right there with ya, kid.

It’s important to me to have a sense of ease in my work — but discomfort is also a key element of growth. The harmony between these two states is what keeps us learning effectively. We want to see juuuuust the right amount of discomfort melting into ease again and again, little by little, like adding flour to your eggs and butter.

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I tend to spend a lot of time in the future: Making plans, envisioning how things will be.

I relish the sense of anticipation I feel thinking about an upcoming trip. I work with my team to come up with long-term plans for business development. I prepare students for high school, three years away.

It takes practice to visualize events and conditions that haven’t happened yet. You play with variables and adjust the model, then change your assumptions and do it again and again. What if this? What if that? I usually enjoy this activity very much, and I’ve gotten pretty good at it.

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