I have a really hard time visualizing a room as it could be.

I can imagine rearranging furnishings in a different way, but it's difficult for me to imagine furnishings that aren't already there. I agonize over paint and textile colors. What's more, it's almost impossible for me to picture options for remodeling.

When it comes to interior design, I see only what is there. I would have to rely on someone like my friend Antonia to be able to see what could be done to create a more pleasant, attractive, and livable space.

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"It's a great gig," said the freelancer. "I mean, I have a master's in social work, not management. So I wonder if he'd be better off with someone else. But I'm happy to run this guy's office."

This social-worker-turned-office-manager was expressing a common belief: "I'm a stand-in for someone who could do the job better." It's one of the hallmarks of so-called imposter syndrome.

Here's the thing, though: That hypothetical person they could have hired who is better than you does not exist. If that person did exist, they would have the job. Instead, you have the job. Your boss, client, or partner picked you: the right person at the right time.

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When I was a young musician, I was fully steeped in the twentieth century idea of being “discovered” by a record company executive.

To a degree, that was still how things worked back then—and even today. However, they never really worked that way anyway. If you want to “make it,” you have to already have the look or sound that the industry was seeking. The stories of being plucked from obscurity make their way around the world because they are ridiculous fairy tales, not business as usual.

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All over the United States this month, new high school graduates are moving into their college dorms.

It’s a migration that’s exciting and, for many, has a feeling of inevitability. However, freshman year of college is not thirteenth grade. Higher education is a separate endeavor from secondary education, a non-compulsory privilege. Whether it’s today, tomorrow, November, or sometime next summer, some of the members of the class of 2021 are going to figure that out. They’re going to realize that they do not want to participate and they don’t have to. Welcome to adulthood, friends!

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If I asked you right now to tell me what you’re really good at or point out a few things you’ve made or accomplished that you’re really proud of, how difficult would that be for you?

Would you be able to state your strengths and accomplishments plainly, without any attempt to minimize them?

Many of us struggle with this. We’re afraid to appear conceited…and maybe afraid of actually becoming conceited.

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