I’m a guitarist, but not a very accomplished one.

The complexity of electric lead guitar has always eluded me. I didn’t take to it naturally or quickly, and I never found anyone who was able to help me take my skills to the next level.

For years, I thought that if I just worked hard enough, I could play lead. That would have been especially notable in the days when it seemed like you could count on one hand the number of female lead guitarists in history. I wanted to be one of them.

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I started teaching music lessons because it was a skill I had that matched what people were looking for.

Once I moved to my new city, it took a few months for people to find me, but after that, I had all the students I needed.

I didn't leave it there, though. I took a next step: What about all of the people whom I couldn't serve because I already had too many students? I needed to find a solution for them.

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Amateur guitarists often get stuck on strumming.

They can teach themselves the basic chords, but they end up with a tense, hooked wrist that yields an equally tense, unpleasant sound.

This is the kind of thing that people chalk up to lack of talent—and it is. The aspiring musician just doesn’t have the natural ability to strum. However, all that means is that the player wasn’t able to figure it out by herself. The problem is easily solved:

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Often, as a coach, employer, or teacher, I’m trying to put my finger on something that doesn’t feel right.

If something is not working, I’ve got to try to figure out why. I’ll look for any clues. One of the more subtle signs of a breakdown is the use of hyperbole.

If someone on my team says something like, “I tried like a hundred times,” or “I’ve been reminding him constantly,” or “Everyone was thrilled,” my ears perk up. These are stories that can’t possibly be literally true, yet they are shared with sincerity. This is a disconnect that causes problems.

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If I asked you right now to tell me what you’re really good at or point out a few things you’ve made or accomplished that you’re really proud of, how difficult would that be for you?

Would you be able to state your strengths and accomplishments plainly, without any attempt to minimize them?

Many of us struggle with this. We’re afraid to appear conceited…and maybe afraid of actually becoming conceited.

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