Everything can change
“And their empire crumbled, ‘til all that was left were the stones the workmen found.” - Sting (Image by Julia Schwab)
The big budget-killer for us was always restaurants. My husband and I loved going out to eat, and we didn’t put enough effort into planning meals. So when there was no food in the fridge or we didn’t get home from work until 6 PM — oh no! — we’d go to a restaurant.
I’m using past tense because everything is different now.
Restaurants are opening in our area, but we’re going out to eat or getting takeout only once a week or so.
We’ve made grocery shopping and meal planning a priority. We have completely new habits and a new routine thanks to the coronavirus lockdown. It seemed impossible before, but this is who we are now. We’ve changed.
As I’m writing this, it’s 7:30 A.M. and I have a few waiting-to-be-published articles in my queue. I don’t have to write today. But now, this is what I do. I write every morning. It seemed impossible before, but this is who I am now. I’ve changed.
Over the years, in observing myself and countless students, I’ve learned that everything we think we are — all the excuses we have for not being who we want to be — none of it is permanent, and most of it is probably not even real. So much of what we know about ourselves is true because we believe it to be. If it is no longer working, we can try something else.
In addition to our beliefs about who we are, we carry beliefs about where we fit into the world and what it means. But all that has changed, too.
All the parties that you felt like you had to go to? They’re gone.
The elite college that you were so disappointed you didn’t get into (or went into deep debt for)? Its classes are online, just like everyone else’s.
All the cool travel experiences that made everyone on social media jealous of each other? Poof.
And then, we hold beliefs about the world itself and how it has to be. However, over the past few months, we’ve seen that even the most hardened realities of modern life are more fluid than we may have ever imagined. More people are coming to understand that we can work together to change the way things are. We can challenge deeply held societal beliefs and construct a kinder culture and a more just society.
This moment of change and upheaval shows us that nothing can be taken for granted. Everything can change, including us.
We may have limited choices in some areas (no European vacation for Americans this summer, and vice versa), but we have lots of freedom with respect to who we want to become. And we may surprise ourselves with what is possible if we let go of the way we’ve always done it and experiment with a different approach.
Even in the most trying circumstances, human beings can grow and change. We have a unique opportunity to question our reality and see what else could be, for us as individuals and for the world as a whole. There is no better time.
