The downside of being a straight-A student

The osprey gets no points for the safety of its nest — but the babies probably appreciate it. (The Swedish National Heritage Board)

I remember the exact moment when I decided to be a straight-A student…and the moment when I decided not to be anymore.

At the end of the first marking period in ninth grade, a giant bulletin board was posted. It showed the honor roll students in each grade along with their pictures.

There was a section for those who received A’s and B’s — and another section for those who received only A’s. I was one of only three freshman to get all A’s.

Up to that point, I hadn’t considered myself a remarkable student. School hadn’t been a conscious priority to me. But when I saw that I was one of the best students, I was inspired to do what was required to continue my streak. I made sure that I got my homework done and made a point of studying for tests. I was already a nerd, so nothing really changed in my social life, but I definitely felt a shift of identity.

Then, a year and a half later, I took up guitar. Suddenly, I had a higher priority than my studies. In a choice between polishing a research paper and practicing guitar, I opted to practice guitar. I got a B+ in my English class and a lifelong skill that was a major contributor to my success in the early part of my career. A decent trade-off.

I had experienced another identity shift. Although I still cared about my grades after that point, I realized that I didn’t want to define myself by them. I couldn’t help but notice that all of the most interesting people I knew, whether adults or peers, didn’t give a crap about grades. They were too busy making art, solving problems, investigating the nature of reality, or getting up to no good. That seemed a better way to live.

Letting go of being a straight-A student allowed me to measure myself and those around me by different standards. The kids around me who didn’t care about their grades were often just as intelligent as the top students — they just wanted different things out of life. They had a more pragmatic attitude and were more strategic about getting work done.

Years later, as the benefits of my good grades have faded, I have increasingly seen the downside of excessive focus on grades. And a big factor is the absence, for those who have learned to only feel okay if they are in A territory, of that kind of pragmatism.

After all, there’s a big part of school that’s not about what you know and can do — it’s about doing the work to a specific standard. Did you include a complete bibliography and format the cover correctly? Did you show your work? Did you do the homework — ninety minutes of your life — in order to receive a quick nod and a checkmark in the grade book? School trains us to follow directions, which can be good; however, it also trains us to wring every last drop of credit from the things we do, whether or not the work has any intrinsic value.

In our careers and personal lives, this can cause significant problems. We may not take the time to figure out which of our actions make a difference — we’ll just be thorough and do all of it, all the time. This is a recipe for burnout and exhaustion, and there’s no one around to give you an A for it.

Furthermore, grades can be highly subjective, particularly in the arts and humanities. Many students become trained to act in ways that will guarantee their teacher’s approval. In order to make the highest possible grade, they must demonstrate that they are in the inner circle. They have to show how hard they worked and how much they care. Once again, this backfires as an adult. Our attempts to prove ourselves to our boss, colleagues, spouse, and children will drive them nuts — or worse, they will relish the role of teacher and engage us in a perpetual game of mutual manipulation.

In adult life, if I carry around the baggage of “I’m smart, I work hard, I should get good grades,” it’s a recipe for misery. There are no grades, so there’s no way for me to be satisfied. I’m only the ghost of a straight-A student, condemned to roam the earth forever in search of a teacher’s stamp of approval. What a waste.

If we have the tendency to seek the A in situations where the grade is irrelevant, it’s important to consciously develop a better rubric than the one we’ve been using. You get to choose what’s important to you and assess your performance (if you must) based on that.

For example, when you’re preparing for a party, you might allow yourself to quickly throw all of the clutter from around the house into a box and put the box into a closet. You might buy chicken broth from a store instead of spending hours making your own. On the other hand, you might really want to make your own decorations — and when you make a mistake that no one else will notice, you can leave it if you want to. There’s no one else to take points off.

When it comes to kids, it’s important to help them to have a sense of perspective. They need to know that grades are not a measure of their worth as a person. They need to be able to understand the value of good grades and then choose for themselves whether it’s important to them to go above and beyond in order to achieve them. There’s too much at stake for us to frighten them into thinking that grades are the be-all, end-all.

Good grades can open doors — but it’s important to understand them in their proper context. There is no valid objective measurement of a human life, which means that we get to use whatever ruler works for us outside of the classes we take. Let’s look at all of the colors of who we can be, not just our ability to perform in school.

What’s your relationship with grades? Have you ever struggled to let go of your identity as a student, good or bad? How has your experience with grades affected your work and life as an adult?