It’s happened with almost every one of my nieces and nephews: My mom and I are visiting a beloved baby, and said baby realizes his mother has left the room. He looks from his grandmother to his aunt with rising panic. “Who are these people? Where is my mother?” His face crumples and he begins to wail, inconsolable.

It’s so cute and sad. The baby cannot possibly comprehend the depth of our love. He can’t imagine the lengths we would go to protect him from harm or see to his needs. He doesn’t understand that he’s hanging out with two people who will be unconditionally devoted to him forever. All he sees is his own fear. He just wants mom.

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“Just keep practicing! You’ll get it.”

Have you ever had a well-intentioned teacher tell you something like this?

It can be decent advice. But it’s limited.

“Just keep practicing” works when you’re on the right track. You understand the mathematical concept — you just need more experience solving similar problems. You are doing your scales with the correct fingering and just need to build speed. You have successfully completed one public speaking engagement and you’re gearing up for the next one.

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Suppose you wanted to learn to play the piano. (It’s fun, I recommend it.) 

If you were to do what most people do, you would start lessons, stick with it for a few weeks or months, and then become overwhelmed with your other commitments.

You would feel bad about spending so much on lessons when you weren’t really practicing enough to make it worth the money, so you would quit.

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One of the things I enjoy about life in 2020 is how easy it is to travel light.

I can run multiple businesses from a laptop and smartphone. I’ve got a camera, calculator, address book, and anything else I might need, right in my pocket.

Under such circumstances, I might be able to get away with the illusion that I’m independent — self-sufficient. But nothing could be further from the truth.

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While the other children around him settled into their lunchtime routine, one eleven-year-old stood agitated in front of the silent microwave. “Ah!” he yelled, and pressed buttons wildly. “Grrr!” He banged on the machine in frustration.

One of the teachers walked over and said gently, “We say, ‘Hey, could I have some help with this?’” She showed the student which buttons to press, and he was on his way.

That this student is unable to intuit how to use that particular microwave is no big deal; however, his inability to ask for help is a major problem. He’s not alone — this is something we see over and over again with children and adults.

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