No, you do not have to constantly challenge yourself
The underwater croquet scene was indeed very competitive by the year 2000. (University of British Columbia Library)
As a young adult, I didn’t know that the music teachers who advertised in the classifieds section of the free weekly paper were the crummy ones who weren’t generating enough business through referrals.
I attended one lesson with a jazz piano teacher. Instead of teaching me new things, he spent most of the hour lecturing me on why I needed to focus. I couldn’t play guitar and piano…and if I was going to play piano, I needed to specialize. I couldn’t keep playing classical and pop and jazz. If I wanted a career in music, I needed to make a choice and go all the way with it.
When I got back to my car, I sat and cried in confusion and embarrassment. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I stick to one thing?
As a matter of fact, I was in a phase of exploration, which was perfectly appropriate. In fact, I’m still benefiting from what I learned during that period. This teacher was out of line.
If you pursue self-improvement, you are sure to find many references to getting out of your comfort zone, pushing against your limitations, and never settling. It’s exhausting, when you just wanted to learn a new skill, to be confronted with the idea that there is a never-ending mountain to climb. There is infinite room for improvement, and even “the greats” never stop growing.
This is a mindset that seems positive and motivating. However, it’s uncomfortable when it’s really about the teacher. “Look how incredible I am — and I’m just a beginner compared to my teacher, who is nothing compared to his teacher.” You’re being invited on a journey to a destination you’ll never reach, the latest in a line of seekers. A pyramid scheme of poseurs. You’re there to give your teacher someone to spout wisdom to.
Yes, undertaking a skill requires a level of consistency and dedication, and you’re never going to get to a point where you know all there is to know. But that doesn’t mean you have to be constantly pushing yourself. It doesn’t mean that you need to be someone’s disciple. You can do an activity for fun, to the extent that you wish to, and enjoy it for its own sake.
This may seem obvious, but in certain disciplines, it can be hard to find resources that match the level of commitment you want to make. It can be difficult to discern what is really necessary to be able to do what you want to do when there is a culture that frowns on an “a la carte” approach to mastery.
For example, in the world of guitar, which is full of posturing and bravado, there is a heavy emphasis on learning scales, including the seven Greek modes. While there is nothing wrong with having strong facility on the fingerboard, a comprehensive knowledge of scales and modes is in no way a prerequisite for a lifetime of musicianship — even a lifetime of professional musicianship. I feel sorry for the beginner who gets sucked into the belief that he must learn scales and modes in order to be a guitarist and quits after four months because it is so darn boring. And my heart goes out to the college guitar student who feels inadequate and “behind” because his knowledge of the scales and modes never seems to be complete enough despite being able to play with beauty and nuance.
The gatekeepers of a particular field can make arbitrary decisions about what is necessary to let someone pass through. Unless you’re training to be a doctor (in which case you’ve got a lot of memorizing to do), you don’t necessarily have to buy into what the gatekeepers say. You can move forward on your own path, according to your own timetable and preferences. You don’t need to be constantly striving in order to justify yourself — and you don’t need to eschew all other pastimes in order to give everything to just one.
One of the things I enjoy about knitting is that, even though there is plenty of room to grow and there are many things I have yet to learn, it is an end in itself. I don’t have to constantly expand my horizons. I can spend a few peaceful hours and make somebody a hat. It’s intrinsically worth doing.
Most activities are like this, if we choose to see them that way. There are no books you should read, unless you happen to be taking a course. You can repeat the same hike every Sunday afternoon, just because you like it. And you can entertain people with the same dozen songs on the guitar at family get-togethers.
In theory, if you gave everything you had to mastering one skill, you’d be world-class. However, that’s not the best approach — it’s just one option among many. If you don’t wish to make that sacrifice, there is nothing wrong with you. You get to decide what you want out of life, and you might want some comfort and ease in there.
I play a bit of jazz piano — for fun. These days, I’m more into tennis. And sailing. And writing. And whatever else I want to do. How about you?