Are you doing things the hard way?

Ploughing is much easier with the horses. But even easier with a tractor. (Llyfrgell Genedlaethol Cymru/The National Library of Wales)

Children who have struggled with reading often rush through it.

When reading aloud, they push themselves to get through the words as quickly as possible, giving each word equal weight.

Perhaps, after a history of being self-conscious about their slow decoding, they are trying to make up for lost time.

Ironically, they will find themselves stumbling more, not less. That’s because they are ignoring the natural pauses offered by commas and periods. If they slow down and focus on meaning, they will actually read more smoothly. When you see language in phrases instead of words, more emphasis is given to the important words, and the less important words will flow naturally. The overall effect will be “faster.”

There are lots of other areas of life where we carry misconceptions about the kind of effort we should be putting in. Time and time again, being more strategic is better than simply trying harder.

To offer another example from the world of children, a socially awkward child who tries to attract attention through jokes, antics, or boastfulness will find that trying so hard alienates others. He is much better off simply approaching the fringes of a social group and laugh at someone else’s jokes and listen to their stories. Though he may harbor fantasies of being the charismatic center of attention, the obvious desire for such glory is a turnoff at any age. If attention-getting tactics haven’t worked in the past, maybe a more passive strategy will be more successful and, over time, will leave room for genuine friendships.

When I’ve had the opportunity to coach people, not just children but fellow adults, the most frequently recurring motif is this tendency to take the long road when the shortcut is both easier and more effective. With the right tool, we can cut a path through all of the noise and frustration and obligation in order to achieve our goals with less stress.

For instance, when we find ourselves laboring for a half hour to find just the right words to resolve a conflict via email, a better approach might be to just pick up the phone or schedule an in-person meeting.

When our business is failing despite rave reviews and a line out the door, raising our prices is like waving a magic wand.

And when we’re struggling to figure out how to quit a habit or start a new one, we can seek professional help.

When something is broken, there’s an opportunity. As Mandi Ellefson says, “breakdowns lead to breakthroughs.” And if we can’t see the solution, someone else can — and the change may not be incremental. It will likely end up being transformational, approaching the problem and solution from a completely new perspective.

We don’t have to settle for mediocre results and unfulfilling circumstances. We don’t have to just grit our teeth and try harder. We can find a strategy that gets us where we want to be with less effort. And one of the most powerful strategies at our disposal is to seek the help of someone who can help us see those possibilities.

After all, the hardest way to do things is by yourself.