You're closer than you think to where you want to be

Released! (State Library and Archives of Florida)

“How long does it take to learn to play the guitar?”

I get this question all the time. Wanna guess what the answer is?

You guessed it: It depends. It takes a few weeks to a few years to become proficient, depending on how much effort you put in.

I also frequently get the question, “How long does it take to get good at the guitar?”

Now that is a really different question. The answer, for anyone asking it, is you never will.

As you learn any skill, the horizon of possibility keeps advancing along with your ability. As you learn, you see more that you can learn. Even as you improve, you see more room for improvement.

If your goal at the outset is “to get good,” this feels terrible. it means that you will never be satisfied.

However, if your goal is to learn, that process will never end, and it will be full of challenge and enjoyment.

That doesn’t mean that it takes forever to learn to play the guitar. As I said, you can become proficient in a matter of weeks. But you can keep getting better forever.

When you begin learning any skill, you have a choice. You you can beat yourself up for not already being good, or you can decide at the outset that you will enjoy the learning process as it unfolds.

I’ve seen tiny children and adults make both choices — it’s not an age thing. Either one is a mindset that can be cultivated.

On day one of guitar lessons, you can make the identity shift: “I am a guitarist.” Congratulations: You are a guitarist who knows four chords!

The other option is to spend years demurring: “Oh, yeah, I take lessons and I play a little, but I’m terrible.”

I don’t recommend the second option. For one thing, it’s no fun; secondly, it doesn’t leave room for you to become a proficient guitarist. You might already be one, and you wouldn’t even notice.

We carry around all kinds of stories about ourselves out of habit, whether or not they are true. Sometimes, they make us blind to the fact that we’re on track, or even that we’ve reached our intended destination. It’s like we’ve plastered the windows of the train with pictures of the place we hoped to leave while reading an old newspaper every day. We’ll never see how far we’ve come.

I see all kinds of people who have achieved their heart’s desire and either can’t recognize it or can’t enjoy it. They sabotage their happy relationships with insecurity, procrastinate on doing important tasks, berate themselves for not measuring up, and numb themselves with continuous work and no rest.

When I’ve been stuck like that, it has helped to write down the things I’m seeking and reflect on them. When I have done this, I have often discovered that I am further along than I thought I was — or that I want different things from the ones I’ve been blindly pursuing. That, ideally with help from other people, can release me from that fearful state into a more fulfilled one.

Our patterns are tough to break, but it doesn’t have to take a lifetime. As you’re reading this, can you think of an area of your life where you feel stuck or you’re not happy with your level of performance? What happens if you choose to believe that you’re right where you should be? Maybe you haven’t been doing it wrong at all. I hope you can see a little daylight and feel a sense of motion. You’ll get there.